Would like some input on my Essay

There was one sentence that also seemed to stick out to me. Let me see if I an find it back.

 

I'm 100% sure it was a VERY long one. I probably need to break it up. Forget which one though

 

It was this one that caught me. It starts toward the middle of the third paragraph.

"Because of this destruction of coral reefs can prevent us from studying some particular creature if the species itself is killed, that may halt the research of some scientists and biologists who may study the specific creature for their different adaptations and quite possibly their part in evolution, and how anatomy may be different from other fish."

I would suggest re-wording it, like this.

"This destruction of coral reefs can prevent us from studying some particular creature(s); if the species itself is killed, that may halt the research of some biologists, who may study the specific creature for their different adaptations (and quite possibly their part in evolution) and how anatomy may be different from other fish."

I worded it to flow more nicely and took out unnecessary words. I.e., biologists are scientists. So you did not need to say "scientists and biologists."

 

o ok lol thanks. i thought that was a bit awkward

 

No problem.