T shirt sayings #1

a.. "If a Man Speaks in the Forest and There Is No Woman Around to Hear
Him - Is He Still Wrong?"
b.. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since
15"
c.. "A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words, But It Uses Up a Thousand Times the
Memory"
d.. "Hey, I Already Went to Hell, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"
e.. "They Call Me a Feminist Every Time I Say Something That Distinguishes
Me From a Doormat"
f.. "I'm a Natural Blonde -- Speak Slowly"
g.. "Of Course I Don't Look Busy -- I Did It Right the First Time"
h.. "Damn Straight I'm a College Grad -- Paper or Plastic?"
i.. "Army: Be All That You're Told to Be"
j.. "I Used to Be Schizophrenic, But Now We're Just Fine"
k.. "When Did My Wild Oats Turn Into Shredded Wheat?"
l.. "My Husband and I Divorced Over Religious Differences -- He Thought He
Was
m.. God and I Didn't"
n.. "Sky Diving -- Speed Limit 120 MPH (Not Strictly Enforced)"
o.. "Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe in Gosh"
p.. "I'm Pro-Lifejacket and I Boat!"
q.. (On the front) "I Cannot be Bought" -- (On the back) "Inquire About
Leasing"
r.. "Those Who Think They Know It All Are an Annoyance To Those of Us Who Do!"
s.. "Guys Have Feelings, Too. But Like, Who Cares?"
t.. "Re-Elect Gore in 2004"
u.. "I Can Only Be Nice to One Person Today -- Today Is Not Your Day --
Tomorrow
v.. Doesn't Look Good, Either"
w.. "All I Ask Is a Chance to Prove That Money Can't Make Me Happy"
x.. "If God Had Meant for Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on
My
y.. Knees"
z.. "He Who Dies With the Most Toys Wins -- But He Still Dies"
aa.. "Look Out Behind You -- The Lemmings Are Gaining"
ab.. "Welcome to Kentucky -- Set Your Watch Back 20 Years"
ac.. "Practice Safe Food -- Use Condiments"
ad.. "Five Out of Four People Don't Understand Fractions"
ae.. "If You Wish to Be Young Again, Remember Algebra"
af.. "Men and Women Are From Earth -- Deal With It"
ag.. "I'm Not Fat -- I'm Just Fluffy"
ah.. "Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings"
ai.. "I Chose the Road Less Traveled -- Now Where the Heck Am I?"
aj.. "I Hope My Ship Comes In Before My Dock Rots"
ak.. "Yes, It's Lonely at the Top -- But I Eat a Lot Better Than You"
al.. "Hugs Are Fully Returnable"
am.. (Aboard a pregnant woman) "When You're In Love, It Shows"
an.. "Bless Grandmothers! -- They Minimize Our Failures and Magnify Our
Successes"
ao.. "Next Time You Think You're So Smart, Try Walking on Water"
ap.. "A Woman Needs Four Animals in Her Life -- A Mink on Her Back, a
Jaguar in er Garage, a Tiger in Her Bed and a Jackass to Pay for It All"
aq.. "And You're Telling Me This Because . . . "
ar.. "I'm in Shape -- Round Is a Shape"
as.. "Life Is Uncertain -- Eat Dessert First"
at.. "The Weather Is Here -- Wish You Were Beautiful!"
au.. "Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My Work Here Is Done!"
av.. (Aboard a mother who was squiring two children around) "Touch
Nothing, and Don't Ask for Anything"
aw.. (Aboard a small boy) "Chip Off the Old Block" -- (Aboard the man
beside him) "Old Block"