The following 15 Police Comments

Discussion in 'The Bucket' started by JohnO, Jan 3, 2008.

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  1. JohnO

    JohnO Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,662
    Location:
    Melbourne, VIC,Victoria
    The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car
    videos around the country.

    15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
    stretch out after you wear them awhile."


    14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate
    a worthless document."


    13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


    12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
    know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."


    11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
    can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"


    10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"


    9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket." (My personal favorite.)


    8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


    7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."


    6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven."


    5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
    now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."


    4. "Just how big were those two beers?


    3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC (National Crime
    Information Center)."


    2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours at least you know someone who can post your bail."


    And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!


    1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't."
     
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  3. wastemanagement

    wastemanagement Eyelash Blennie

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Quebec City
    were do get all these?? nice
     
  4. JamieC77

    JamieC77 Bristle Worm

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    Dec 15, 2007
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    Location:
    Indiana
    HaHa funny stuff!
     
  5. reef_guru

    reef_guru Humpback Whale

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    ive used some of those, to funny
     
  6. jbaker

    jbaker Feather Duster

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Southeast Washington
    I've used a couple of those too. Is reef guru also a cop?
     
  7. reef_guru

    reef_guru Humpback Whale

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    yup for over 15 years
     
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  9. jbaker

    jbaker Feather Duster

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2007
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    245
    Location:
    Southeast Washington
    10 years myself.
     
  10. reef_guru

    reef_guru Humpback Whale

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    Location:
    joliet,il
    sorry to hear that, lol