Crying Kids in Restaurants

I am going to seem like a kid hater, but I am not. I hate parents that do not discipline their children and think that a crying child in a restaurant is acceptable.

Message to parents getting louder: No screaming babies allowed! - Parenting on Shine

Personal Story:

My GF, her parents, and I grabbed some late dinner last summer at around 11PM EST. We went to a place known as Eat n' Park or Eat n' Puke. This is not a fancy restaurant, but that does not mean that anything goes.

We wound up being sat on the other side of a booth. The occupants of the attached booth were 3 adults 1 newborn and a child of about 5. I was a little hesitant, but since the child looked to be asleep I said nothing about possibly being placed in another location. My GF's parents sat on the side attached to the booth, while my GF and I sat facing her parents.

After the waitress took our drink orders the newborn started crying. The father took the newborn and started walking her around the restraurant trying to calm her down. Ok, that is fine with me. Atleast you are trying to do something about it. **** happens and I can deal with it.

The party I was a part of started talking about the crying about and about how it they should take the baby outside instead of continuing to allow it to cry in the restaurant and bothering other patrons. We were not being loud, calling anyone names, or anything like that.

After about 5 minutes of this baby crying, the father handed her off to the mother. The mother, instead of trying to console the baby, put the child's crying mouth right in my GF's mom's (Mary Ann) ear. Mary Ann looked at the baby's head and told us how disgusted she was with the mother for putting the baby's mouth right at her ear. The father said to the people in his party "College students these days have no respect for their elders". The parents were maybe 30 tops. Only 8 years older than me at the time. The mother told us "If we don't like the baby crying then to move". I responded quickly with "Please mind your own business. We are not speaking to you and therefore not invited into our conversation".

The father turned around and cursed at me. He also told me not to talk to his wife like that. I would write what he told me, but I do not wish to be banned from 3reef. I got on the defensive and told him what I thought about allowing the baby to cry in Mary Ann's ear. No cursing was involved nor attitude. I am very good at staying calm in almost all situations. This was definitely the least stressfull and annoying situation I had been in for years. There was no need for him to start cursing at me or make a larger scene than their crying baby already made.

After about 10 minutes of the baby crying on and off, the father took the baby outside. On his way out he looked at me and said, "Good luck when you have kids." I responded with "Thank you. When I become a dad I won't be taking my newborn out at 11PM for dinner and I will invest in a babysitter for parent time". He then called me an a******. I now called him a name. A few minutes later the rest f the party left. The story gets better.

We eat our dinner and leave about 30 minutes after the other party had left. Who was in the parking lot waiting for us? You guessed it, the two men from the other party. My GF's dad is a retired navy officer and I'm not exactly a peaceful person when it comes to some things if you get my drift. I was just waiting for something to happen. To my surprise the said nothing. They were in two cars. However, they followed us out of the parking lot and tailgated us while having their high beams on. The other car was in front of us going 10MPH in a 25MPH zone. They continued this until we made the turn in to our parking lot, about a mile. I was thinking about calling the cops on them.

I know no one is perfect and **** happens, but to allow your baby to cry for 15 minutes in a restaurant is rude and inconsiderate. If I ever did that when I was little, my parents removed me from the restaurant immediately. This never had to happen.

Please parents discipline your children. Don't let them scream, run a muck, or misbehave in public or at home. If you want your child to behave you have to discipline your child. Both parents need to be on the same page with rules and punishments. There cannot be a good guy and a bad guy. You both need to be the bad guy sometimes. Your kid will me mad at you for a while, but they will get over it. When they are a teenager, their job is to hate you.

When you decide to have a child, make sure you understand that you have new responsibilities and you can't do things they way you use to. It won't work. If you need "parent time", get a babysitter for a night.

Anyway, I hope I don't seem like a child hating a****** who only cares about himself when he is out. I really am not. I call them how I see em.

One of the main arguments is the policy is aimed at disabled children. I have to disagree, I have met and personally a few disabled children and adults. I have never heard them cry or seen them cause trouble. I have a friend who is a special needs teacher at a high school and has nothing, but problems with some of the children. Yea, some do need help, but as a parent of a special needs child, you have to accept that your and their lives will never be the same or normal.

After a few experiences like the one above, I am thrilled about this restaurant's new policy and hope others join in soon.

 

I didn't read the whole thing. Honestly I stopped at "parents don't discipline..."
X it's not that we don't but that we can't. Times are changing and if you yell at them you are mentally/verbally abusing the child and if you swat/spank you are mentally/physically abusing the child.
As a parent of a four year old as well as 6 other children from 22 yrs old to 11 I can and will be the first to tell you that it is waaay easier to let the child throw a fit and be obnoxious than to deal with the glares of do gooder's poor little kid sympathizers who will more than likely call the police or state department of family services if they feel the child is being "abused".
My four year son is in preschool and they teach them that if mom or dad spanks it is wrong and the teacher needs to know about it. I don't know about the law in your state but here in SD it is not abuse to spank as long as you only use your hand and don't leave a mark. You can't even pick up a tantrum throwing 4 year old w/o leaving a "mark" let alone get your point across with a spanking.
Back in my childhood the principal of the school had a paddle and he used it, my friends parents weren't afraid to crack me if I messed up in their home and my mom or dad didn't worry about who was watching when I needed an adjustment.

 

You can't 'discipline' a newborn. Also, you should retitle this thread to something more appropriate like 'badly behaved parents in restaurants' because your bad experience had nothing to do with that baby I'm not going to get into the whole spanking argument because what works for some doesn't work for others. I do know that if your kid acts up and you're not willing to discipline them regardless of your reasons why, you should at least be courteous enough to leave the restaurant until the child stops acting up.

 

I never said anything about spanking. You are right, the times are changing and idiotic laws and people are not allowing many parents to openly discipline. This is unacceptable. Parents should not have to be worried about jail time if they discipline their child. Child know all they have to do is claim mommy or daddy beat them and CPS will be on your doorstep in hours.

However, I see a number of parents letting their children run a much and say nothing. That is not right. As simple as that. Disciplining does not mean just spanking. Parents can ground a child. This is the only option parents have left really, and most won't do that.

 

You can remove the child from the restaurant. Title has to do with the link. My story was just an experience.

 

Unless you've had a kid, I don't think you can fairly judge others. Parents and babies have to go out into public. And newborns cry, that's what they do. You can't reason with them, or discipline them....

 

First off, I think this post is in the wrong forum, it should be in the bucket. Secondly I agree parents these days do not discipline their children these days like the way they did when I was growing up.
You do not discipline kids while you are out in public unless it is absolutely necessary. Discipline happens at home and if done right will not be necessary out in public.

 

You can remove the child. It sucks, but you should not allow the child to constantly cry in a public area. When you have a child your life changes. No one is perfect, but you have to do what you have to do.

Apparently the 11PM was missed. A 5 year old and a new born being out to dinner at 11PM is poor parenting. Sticking the baby's mouth in someone's ear is rude and inconsiderate. I guess this is acceptable behavior by the parents.

 

You are right. I clicked the wrong section. Sorry admins.

I agree. The cases I am speaking about need to be disciplined in public. Such as the child that ran around the LFS I work at and knocked everything possible on to the floor and was hitting the tanks. The parents thought it was funny.

 

I've moved the thread to the Bucket. These types of topics tend to get heated but as long as folks can remain civil, the thread can remain open. My basic philosophy is that if a restaurant had cloth tableclothes and napkins, it's no place to bring a child. If you're at a restaurant like Friendly's however and get angry about the noise level, then you're being somewhat unreasonable. It takes kids a few years to learn how to control the volume of their voices. That's not to say that a crying child shouldn't be taken outside but you have to be willing to put up with some noise at a kid friendly restaurant.