Wife Problem

Discussion in 'The Bucket' started by ReefJunkie, Mar 4, 2007.

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  1. ReefJunkie

    ReefJunkie Astrea Snail

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2007
    Messages:
    48
    Location:
    NC
    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.
    :laugh3: :whip:
     
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  3. 4G1v3N

    4G1v3N Spaghetti Worm

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    187
    Location:
    San Pedro,CA
    Thats too good!
     
  4. coral reefer

    coral reefer Giant Squid

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    4,860
    Location:
    Wonderland
    HAHAHA!!!! Yes one for the men!!! men 1 women 0
    YES! Good one
     
  5. Diver_1298

    Diver_1298 Eyelash Blennie

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,268
    Location:
    Lakeland, Fl
    You haven't been married long enough if you think the score is going to stay in the mans favor ;D
     
  6. SLynchie

    SLynchie Plankton

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Location:
    West Springfield, MA
    Ha Ha

    oh damn!

    lol, my husband isn't that smart, but that was pretty funny.;D
     
  7. Dyngoe

    Dyngoe Fire Worm

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2006
    Messages:
    167
    Genius! Mensa quality genius!
     
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  9. landofid

    landofid Plankton

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Messages:
    16
  10. mattgeezer

    mattgeezer Montipora Capricornis

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,024
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    definatley +1 for the boys ....nice one