Would like some input on my Essay

Well I did an essay on coral reef destruction so I'd like some input to know if it's good as is or if I should change anything. Thanks in advance.


Many people may not realize it, but destruction of coral reefs may be detrimental to all of us because it can cause habitat loss for creatures living in the environment, lessen our understanding of nature, and cause the extinction of different varieties of sea life. If reefs are destroyed, everyone and everything will be affected in one way or another. Even as we are told to avoid harming reefs, people still do it, mainly those driven by greed and money. If this continues, everyone and everything will have to face the consequences which could bring about a worldwide problem that can drastically hurt us.
Destruction of coral reefs can easily cause the loss of homes for the species that live there; not only that, but if enough sea creatures and corals are killed, symbiotic relationships are broken in which one organism can’t survive without its partner. Also, the creatures that are collected from reefs may be insufficient if they are used as food by other animals, which could cause the destruction of food chains as well. People also benefit from those creatures as food and even as pets; many saltwater aquarium hobbyists may be disappointed if a certain fish they have wanted to keep is wiped out or the population may be low. Prices could also rise because of the creatures’ availability. All in all, destruction of reefs can be very detrimental not only to us but to the environment, too.
Destruction of coral reefs can also lessen our understanding of a natural reef environment. If a reef is destroyed we won’t be able to learn about the different creatures that live there or how the environment itself works. We’ve already learned about many land creatures, but there are still many sea creatures that are yet to be discovered. This destruction of coral reefs can prevent us from studying some particular creature(s); if the species itself is killed, that may halt the research of some biologists, who may study the specific creature for their different adaptations (and quite possibly their part in evolution) and how anatomy may be different from other fish. If enough creatures are wiped out we could never fully understand how natural selection plays a role in a creature’s characteristics and allows it to survive in nature through adaptation as well.
Finally, destruction of coral reefs can easily cause the extinction and/or unwanted introduction of sea creatures if enough coral reefs are destroyed. When coral reefs are destroyed, the creatures that lived there must find a new home, so if enough reefs are killed and the creatures have nowhere to go, they die rapidly and may eventually be wiped out, since they don’t have the adaptations necessary to adapt to a different environment. As for the unwanted introduction of sea creatures, animals that are native to tropical waters may be wiped out as well if unwanted creatures end up entering the new area and use it as a new home while eating the native life to support them in their brand new home. An example includes the lionfish invasion, where lionfish are killing sea life native to the US coast with their poisonous fins and using them for food. If it’s not stopped, extinction may occur soon. The invasive species usually becomes invasive when there’s too many in a population and they need to find a new place to live, or the species needs to find a new home after their home was destroyed, which most likely is caused by humans. We contribute pollution and garbage, and some species of sea life also perish through means of plastic bags and eating bottle caps, swallowing bottles, and eating glass. Although we aren’t completely responsible for this, we do contribute quite a lot.
As long as we harm coral reefs, we are only hurting ourselves and animals in their natural environments. Many safety measures are being taken to prevent this from happening, but as long as harm continues many things can drastically affect us. Though reefs are located in the ocean, many people don’t know that they help keep balance in food chains and in nature altogether. Nevertheless, harming coral reefs will cause massive destruction if not prevented.

 

anyone?

 

Very good work.

Give everyone time to find the thread.

 

guess I'm a bit impatient; sorry about that lol Thanks for the compliment.

 

Indent your paragraphs! Not done reading yet.

 

well i just copied and pasted lol

 

Looks great. I agree with Seano. Also, a strong essay starts out with a figure or statistic to give the author credibility. For example you could use something like "Coral reefs are being depleted at (x) rate". Just a thought. After your introductory paragraph the remainder of your writing will fall into place nicely. Also I then tie in what ibopened up with in my conclusion. I hope this was of some help and you don't mind my critique.

 

Not at all; thanks for the idea ;D

 

I noticed several grammatical errors(missing/misplaced commas and apostrophes). But the essay is very well written.

 

Thanks. Time to get revising!