Tell a joke :)

Discussion in 'The Bucket' started by elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010.

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  1. elweshomayor

    elweshomayor Giant Squid

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    Norcross, Atlanta Ga.
    yeah tell a joke...

    here is mine..
    What happens when frogs park illegally?
    They get toad.

    haha lame..

    now its your turn.;D
     
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    #1

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  2. Reef Empire

    Reef Empire 3reef Sponsor

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2009
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Midwest
    Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

    Because they taste funny.
     
    Reef Empire, Apr 21, 2010
    Reef Empire, Apr 21, 2010
    #2
  3. elweshomayor

    elweshomayor Giant Squid

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    Norcross, Atlanta Ga.
    lol;D
     
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    #3
  4. NU-2reef

    NU-2reef Montipora Digitata

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Messages:
    1,099
    Location:
    vancouver, canada
    Im not that funny but this could be...

    The List of Scuba Diving Jokes
    Rules of Diving
    * Don't take up diving to get a suntan.

    * People who look good with a mask on are usually ugly without one.
    * Inverse Law of Patches: A diver's ability is inversely proportional to the number of patches they wear
    * Diving unprotected with a stranger is like having unprotected sex with a stranger.
    * Never clear a snorkel on a Mexican Federale'
    * Anyone who says they have never been afraid while diving hasn't been diving or is a bad liar.
    * Never use a sun intensifier lotion within 30 miles of the Equator.
    * People say the funniest things when you shut their air off.
    * Never have sex underwater above a coral reef.
    * Dry Suits and Beers do not mix
    * Buddies are never where you need them to be.
    * You WILL run out of film before the Whale Shark Swims By
    * 60 minute camcorder batteries aren't
    One should never make a night dive on a coral reef after taking:
    *Acid
    *Marijuana
    *Black Russians
    *Prosaic
    *Sleeping Pills
    How to avoid shark attacks:
    * Never Leave Kansas
    * Roll in manure before diving. Sharks hate anything breaded
    * Always dive with a buddy. On sharks approach, point to buddy
    * Dive with a briefcase. Shark may mistake you for an attorney and leave you alone out of professional courtesy
    You can spot divers by:
    * Funny Tan Lines
    * Big Watch
    * Says "Huh" alot
    * Bad shocks and springs in car
    * Scars from trigger fish bites
    * Expertise on anti-histamines You can spot old time divers by:
    * Funny Tan Lines
    * Big Expensive Watch
    * Old Jeep with bad shocks
    * Log Book has volume number on cover
    * Deaf in at least one ear
    * Has multiple scars.
    * Has cylinders older than you are
    * Talks about making their first wet suit
    * Dive gear is faded
    * Limps from Dysbaric Osteonecrosis You can spot newbie divers by:
    * Sunburned
    * Timex Watch
    * Nice car
    * Fills in all the blanks in their logbook
    * No diving related scars
    * Says "Wow, did you see that" alot
    * Equipment looks nice
    * Perfect hearing
     
    NU-2reef, Apr 21, 2010
    NU-2reef, Apr 21, 2010
    #4
  5. Telgar

    Telgar Snowflake Eel

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,390
    Location:
    Ft Washington, MD
    CAN YOU GET MARRIED IN HEAVEN?


    On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.

    The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
    While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

    When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

    St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

    The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited,
    they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
    'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'

    After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

    'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

    'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out?
    Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

    St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

    'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.

    'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here!
    Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'
     
    Telgar, Apr 21, 2010
    Telgar, Apr 21, 2010
    #5
  6. elweshomayor

    elweshomayor Giant Squid

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    Norcross, Atlanta Ga.
    hahaha;D

    lmao... thats a very good one.
     
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    elweshomayor, Apr 21, 2010
    #6

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  7. Gexx

    Gexx Giant Squid

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    3,434
    Location:
    Lansing, Michigan
    i dont think the mods would think too kindly of my jokes... so keep them coming people!
     
    Gexx, Apr 21, 2010
    Gexx, Apr 21, 2010
    #7
  8. reefmonkey

    reefmonkey Giant Squid

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    SE South Dakota
    LOL Right huh? I'm been shuffling thru all of them that I know and NONE are appropriate..:)
     
    reefmonkey, Apr 21, 2010
    reefmonkey, Apr 21, 2010
    #8
  9. Siddique

    Siddique Dragon Wrasse

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    Mar 10, 2006
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    2,163
    Location:
    Trinidad and Tobago

    HAHAHAHA. Very funny.
     
    Siddique, Apr 21, 2010
    Siddique, Apr 21, 2010
    #9
  10. gabbagabbawill

    gabbagabbawill Pajama Cardinal

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2010
    Messages:
    1,401
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    Man says to wife:

    "What would you do if i won the lottery?"

    Wife replies:

    "take half and leave your ass"

    Husband replies:

    "good, I won 12 dollars here is 6 now get out!"

    :)

    UMMMM....NO Curt

    :eek:

    The reason protesters target fur wearers rather than leather wearers is because it's much safer to hassle little old ladies than it is bikers.

    ::)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2010
    gabbagabbawill, Apr 21, 2010
    gabbagabbawill, Apr 21, 2010
    #10
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