ALCOHOL WARNING

ALCOHOL WARNING
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell you friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your bum kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.