Ready to throw in the towel---mad and discouraged

Discussion in 'General Freshwater Information' started by Lady J, Oct 13, 2012.

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  1. budsbunny

    budsbunny Bristle Worm

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    127
    Location:
    Alabama
    i think i must have missed it somewhere...

    but what is your ph in the betta tank???
    and sometimes with freshwater less is more ...it could be as you have said many times in this thread ....you may be over caring for it. if fish is looking ok other than fins......just be confident that you have addressed all that you can and let time heal him. i have my betta in a vase in the windo with clear marbles in it with a peace lily growing out of the vase. i do nothing with him other than top of his water until the root's of the lily start looking like they are getting a little algea on them. then i do an almost complete water change with tap water left out overnight and a little betta bowl declorinater.i feed him only once a day and when i do it's granulated betta food and maybe 15 little granuals.
    with freshwater i hate treating with meds unless it's a last resort.....i find it is hard on the fish sometimes......i'll treat my reef tank quicker than my fresh tanks....and i like that metsfix because it is malaluka and not antibiotic, cuz ya never know if the bacterial infection is gram positive or gram negative if they are not showing distinct symptoms and it could end up feeding the infection.
    if the ph is to alk then it can disintigrate fins and gill tissue.

    and i truly understand your frustration after brain surgery....i used to have a friend i helped after hers and she got very frustrated too. she would always feel like she was just missing the connection of her thought process ...but she wasn't ....she was just expecting too much of herself. so relax a bit and we will find the solution . i'll tell you the same thing i always told her..... take a deep breath, hold it in while ya smile and then exhale and let's start at a new beginning :)
     
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  3. Lady J

    Lady J Peppermint Shrimp

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    414
    You, my friend, are far too kind.

    The ph swings between 7.4 and 7.6 I'd like for it to be a bit lower but short of using distilled or RO/DI that's where it's going to be as that's what the tap is. I'm not going to try to keep lowering it with additives because that's a losing battle.

    I need to relax on my tanks. I am treating the betta because his fins are ragged looking although there are no other signs of illness. However, I too use meds as a last resort.

    Your last part about your friend made me teary-eyed. It's been difficult and I too am very hard on myself. Since this is my thread I can hijack it. First, I'm thankful she made it. I almost did not--I died on the table but they brought me back. In my early recovery I forgot where I lived one day; I had to call my mom because I couldn't remember my address. I would read a book, finish it, and read it again 2 weeks later and not remember having read it (only knew this because my son told me). Got confused on how to spell the word eight; at first I wrote ate but knew that was wrong. :cry: Um, taught college English, writing and research so this was a bit upsetting to say the least. I have pretty bad short term memory issues and I cannot tell you how many times people have said, "Just keep a calendar". Well gee, thank you for your profound insight, now all I have to do is remember to look at the damn calendar. I can't remember how to multiquote although John and Vinnie have explained it. I REALLY can't remember how to post pictures. This gets quite tiresome. It pretty much sucks going from being a college teacher to living on disability and only allowed to work part-time at a low, cognitive-level-demanding job. But it is what it is. Since I'm being extremely honest I'll just say this outright: the reason I can't get a canister is that I can't afford one. Is it tacky of me to say this: yes. Unfortunately, however, this is the kind of thing that happens when a person is forced to live on disability. Further, my knees suck and I've mentioned this a gazillion times.

    I'm not whining nor am I looking for sympathy. However, my brain damage sometimes is part of my problem here. Often my thinking is very clear and other times I flounder. And, I'm grouchy about these problems with my tanks. John has given me a great deal of help---sometimes I remember his advice and sometimes I don't. Fortunately I can go back and read posts again.

    Thank you for your kind words budsbunny. :)
     
  4. budsbunny

    budsbunny Bristle Worm

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    127
    Location:
    Alabama
    There is nothing tacky about it !!!!

    i see many posts that the solution is just throw money at it, and if that doesn't work ...throw more money at it. And with people relying on expensive equipment solutions it can be intimidating for people that can't do that to post problems .....to be totally honest with you..... that is one of the reasons i have been a member here and not posted for 2 years .......now i'm in a position to afford a little more towards my tank , so when Matt said i should post and get involved i thought what the heck.
    as you said life is what it is and we have to count our blessings and deal with what we are dealt ...... the only way it could be tacky is if you weren't trying your best and from what i can see you are trying 110 % and should be proud of yourself ....some people in your situation just pity themselves and never make a substancial recovery......
    one thing about dieing and then living again is you see life in an intirely different light
    i was lucky.......my death experience happened when i was 15.....so that light has shone bright for me for most of my life and i'll tell ya something else if i had a cannister filter to spare i would send it to you, not out of charity but because that's what people should do when someone is trying hard and is in need, sorry to hijack a bit here but i really applaud you and you should not have to feel like that is tacky if you are truly among friends here :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2012
  5. Lady J

    Lady J Peppermint Shrimp

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    414
    Geez, you sure know how to make a girl cry.

    I'm sorry you went through so much trauma as a teenager. Oh dear Lord. And yes, near death changes you. I'm always so dismayed when I see people being rude and cruel to others and wish I could just tell them, LIFE IS SHORT--STOP IT.

    You know, I tore my reef down because I just couldn't afford it anymore. In fact, the only way I was able to get the 30g. is because my LFS gave me $400.00 in credit for my corals. Craig, the owner of the store, literally sat down with me and asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this because he knows how much I love(d) my saltwater tank. I really didn't have a choice anymore but decided a little freshwater system would be fun. Fun, hmmmm lol

    I did some reading about betta fin rot; the message is that betta's usually get it due to poor water quality. Grrrrr, I don't see how that can be the case with mine. IDK, he's being treated so I hope it works.

    I'm relaxing regarding these issues and am going to monitor right now.

    Thank you for helping me and being so kind. I wish there were more people in the world like you. :)
     
  6. dsmerf214

    dsmerf214 Fire Shrimp

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    320
    Location:
    NJ
    Hey there lady J:) you really helped me out on one of my threads recently, so hopefully I can return the favor;) I know there haven't been any new posts in a few days, so hopefully things have gotten better for you and your fishies in the meantime.

    One thing to remember about bettas is that for at least some of the time they live in tiny dirty mud puddles. During the dry season it can get pretty rough, but they flourish. You could honestly get by without a filter, although it is better to have one. The only thing I would tell you to keep your eye on is the flow of it; bettas do best in a very low or no flow environment. I would take it easy on cleaning out the filter. My last beta had the crappiest filter ever for about 3 years. I think I changed the filter pad once, and cleaned it maybe 3 or 4 times. Being a novice, water changes were done pretty much never. I topped off the tank when the filter started making funny noises. While I certainly wouldn't recommend doing it that way, that guy lived to the ripe old age of 4. Ironically enough when I bought his new filter I forgot to put the cover on intake valve and he got sucked in :( but he STILL lived a year after that. Fins grew back, and he was beautiful and happy.
    Point being, bettas are hardy "dirty water" fish. Like you have realized you are over cleaning. The filter you have is HUGE for his tank. Let it do its job. It is there to get out detritus and build a good bacterial colony. I wouldn't clean the filter mediums more than once a month. If you really feel the need to vacuum the gravel, I wouldn't do it more than once a month, and I wouldn't do more than half the tank at a time. If you are doing one of these things, then skip the other. Doing both at the same time will knock out your bacteria.
    So far as water goes, I personally have never heard that using distilled or roti water is good for fresh water. I got yelled at when I told my lfs I started my tank with distilled. So long as your tap water doesn't have ammonia it, and the pH isn't way out of wack, it should be fine with a little declorinator. Also, so long as your fish seem happy I would not mess with the pH. Most of them come equipped with the ability to handle different pH levels (think rainy or flood seasons). If you really want to lower it, try adding some drift wood to the tank or some peat in the filter. But again, its not really necessary. Remember that since you are doing weekly water changes, it will cause the pH to fluctuate, which is far more stressful to the fish.
    Speaking of water changes... I would slow down a bit with those too. Or at least do smaller ones. 10-15% weekly is fine. Unless you are losing huge amounts of water, top offs aren't really needed either.
    As you said, I would stop with the fertilizer. Any food leftovers and fish poop should be sufficient for your plants. Keep an eye on the nitrates, and if they stay at 0 you can slowly start adding some. The plants in my 30g do fine with no fert, and they actually have to be cut back occasionally.
    IMO less is more with fresh water. The less you add and the less you change things the better it will do. Hope I have been of some help, and if you have any questions I will do my best to help.