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Old 09-22-2007, 04:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Sheila Lusk

= = = =

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter.


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Old 09-22-2007, 08:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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LMAO!!


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Old 09-25-2007, 07:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Finally, a joke that contains no corn


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Old 09-25-2007, 08:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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That is a good one......


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Old 09-25-2007, 08:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Nice!


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Old 09-25-2007, 02:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by amcarrig View Post
Finally, a joke that contains no corn
You're gonna be sorry you wrote that

"A Compendium Of Puntifications"

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal.

9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

14. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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Old 09-25-2007, 06:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You're right, I am sorry
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by amcarrig View Post
You're right, I am sorry
OH MY GOD!!!!

I'M RIGHT!, GOD PLEASE TAKE ME NOW, MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

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Old 09-25-2007, 07:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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LMAO you think she was serious?????
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Nope and neither was I

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