Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ?

[JohnO]

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ?


ANSWERS

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll
find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such
occurrences into being.


John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning
except to him.

The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.

Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.

Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Darwin #1: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to
cross roads


Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the
trees.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did not cross the road.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross
the road of his own free will.


Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.

Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but right
now I've got a horse in my bathroom.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both
cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2
it gets 1.4999999999.

M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on
at the time.

George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that
he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only
serving their interests.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?


Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
also across you.

Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that
it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be
of its own freewill.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.


Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Emily ****enson: Because it could not stop for death.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.


Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Saddam Hussein #1: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my
omelet.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been
told!

OJ Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.