 An octopus walks into a bar
An octopus walks into a bar and says "Gimme a drink and I'll play any
musical instrument you like".
The Englishman gives him a beer and a guitar which he then proceeds to
play better than Hendrix himself.
The Irishman then gives him a Guinness and points him towards the piano,
which he plays even better than Elton.
The Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes; the octopus fumbles around with them for a few minutes and the Scotsman says "What's wrong. Can ye no play it ?".
The octopus says "Play it ?... I'm gonna bonk its brains out once I get the pyjamas off it!"
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
