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Go Back   3reef Forums > Off Topic > The Bucket

Old 12-17-2006, 02:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default A New Mexico cowboy

A New Mexico cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a
calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,receives a
response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a U.S. Congressman", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you
are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.


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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
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Old 12-17-2006, 05:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Nice!


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Old 12-17-2006, 06:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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LOL very good


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tank: 55gal, coralife super skimmer , odyssea 260w 48" compact light, Fluval 304 canister filter, power head, 50 lbs live rock
dragon goby, 20 red legged crabs,9 blue legged crabs,7 nassarious snails,5 zebra snails
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Old 12-20-2006, 01:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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wow the elaboration "odbc connection/mysql database" must be a comp geek. had me laughing


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Old 12-20-2006, 03:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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OK that the the best one yet

J


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My Tank Thread
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Old 12-20-2006, 03:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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LOL!!
Very Niiiiiice!


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*Since 12/2002 40 gal. 85 lbs live rock. 3" fiji Live sand.wet dry filter and prizm protein skimmer. 192 power compacts
*Since 10/2006 125 gal. Built in Overflows x2, 3" LS(165 lb fiji pink) 175 lb of LR, 2x 36" aquatinics T5 HO fixtures(10x39W bulbs 2 gliesman aquablue+1 gliesman actinic+2 ATI aquablue special), mag 18 return pump, PM R30fuge. AquaC EV 180 skimmer.
**Working on CL with 2 4mdqx-sc little giants and a OM Super Squirt.

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