 A man walked into a bar with a pig
A man walked into a bar with a pig and asked for 2 pints, one for himself and one for the pig. The landlord told him: "I'll serve you, but the pig will have to stay outside".
"Ah," said the man, "but this isn't just any pig. This pig can play the piano."
Disbelievingly, the landlord replied: "OK, sit him up at the piano and let's hear him play". The pig was led to the piano, sat down and started to play beautifully.
The landlord was amazed. "I've got to have that pig. How much do you
want for him?"
"I'm sorry," replied the man, "but that pig is a personal friend of mine and is not for sale."
The man and the pig became regulars at the pub, and every evening the pig would play the piano. Word got around, and the pub did brisk business as more and more people came to hear the pig play. Every evening the landlord offered more money for the pig, until eventually the man accepted and went on an extended holiday with the proceeds.
A few months later, the same man walked into the same bar with a dog.
The pub had changed beyond recognition. The building had been extended,
neighbouring land had been purchased and a bigger car park built, the name of the pub had been changed to "The Playing Pig", there was a grand piano on a platform in the middle of the pub, and every evening the place was packed with people who had come to see the pig play the piano.
Anyway, the man walked into the bar with the dog and asked for two pints, one for himself and one for the dog. The landlord was just starting to tell him that the dog would have to be left outside, when he recognised the man.
"So," he asked, "does this dog have any special skills?".
"Well, funnily enough, this dog can sing" replied the man.
"Fantastic. Get him up alongside the pig, let's hear what he can do".
The combination was incredible. Again, the man and the dog became regulars. Every evening the pig would play the piano, the dog would sing, and people would come from miles around to hear them. Every evening the landlord offered more money for the dog, and every evening the man would reply: "I'm sorry, the dog's a personal friend of mine and is not for sale".
One evening, the landlord said: "Look, here's a cheque for £500,000, here are keys to my yacht and the deeds to my villa in Spain, just let me have that dog". Finally the man relented and sold the dog. Again he went on an extended holiday with the proceeds.
A few months later he was back again. The pub had been further extended
and had become one of the hottest entertainment venues in the country.
The landlord recognised the man and asked, excitedly: "What have you got
for me this time?".
"I'm sorry," said the man. "Here are the keys for your yacht and the deeds for your villa. Here's a cheque for half of your money, I'm afraid I've spent the rest. I just can't live with the guilt any longer".
"What's the problem?" asked the landlord. "We're doing great business.
Every evening the pig plays, the dog sings, people come from all over the world to hear them. You've made me rich. What can you possibly have to feel guilty about?".
"I'm sorry," replied the man. "But the dog can't sing. The pig's a
ventriloquist."
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
