| PICTURE POLICE
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Miami, FL Age: 39
Posts: 5,049
   
|  I thought this was funny and true....
NOAH IN 2008 In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
>living in the United
>States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked
>andover-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another
>Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few goodhumans" He gave
>Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Arkbefore I
>will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later,
>the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -but no Ark. "Noah!"
>He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?" "Forgive me,
>Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed abuilding permit.
>I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for asprinkler system.
>My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhoodzoning laws by
>building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the heightlimitations. We had to
>go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.Then the Department of
>Transportation demanded a bond be posted for thefuture costs of moving
>power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clearthe passage for the
>Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea wouldbe coming to us, but
>they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem.
>There's a ban on cutting local treesin order to save the spotted owl. I
>tried to convince the environmentaliststhat I needed the wood to save the
>owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights
>group sued me. Theyinsisted that I was confining wild animals against their
>will. They arguedthe acommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel
>andinhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled
>that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted anenvironmental impact
>study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying toresolve a complaint with
>the Human Rights Commission on how many minoritiesI'm supposed to hire for
>my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking the
>green-card status of most ofthe people who want to work. The trades unions
>say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire onlyUnion workers with
>Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my
>assets, claiming I'm trying toleave the country illegally with endangered
>species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me
>to finishthis Ark .." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
>and a rainbow stretchedacross the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and
>asked, "You mean you're notgoing to destroy the world?" "No," said the
>Lord. "The government beat me to it _________ 9YR OLD 90G/55g custom sump/refug Mag18 Aquac 180skimmer 692w MH AC jr,yel&kole tang,midas&convict blenny,B&G chromies,Blk/yel fin chromie blackcap,nemo,neon goby,6line; Blastomussa Merleti,Acan ,BUBBLE,Torch,LTA, Acropora(2) Moon, assort zoas, yel& G star polyps, P&B ricordia, montiporas, cup&candy corals, xenias,B/G mush,flower ane(2), cherry red mussa, dusters,cleaning crew..  |
