 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer
3. Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
6. Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a crossdresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
7. Good: You give the "birds and bees:" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections
8. Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
9. Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
10. Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way ugly: She makes more money than you do
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
