 Gender
Like most people, common everyday items probably look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many have a gender.
For example...
Freezer bags are Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.
Photocopier - Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.
Tyre - Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.
Hot Air balloon - Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under its arse and, of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges - Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.
Web page - Female, because they're always getting hit on.
London Underground - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
Hourglass - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
Hammer - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
Computer - Female, because although it's difficult to understand, it Has a good memory, and crashes are inevitable. Once it's been switched off it can be awkward to turn on again. When it does get switched on, it takes ages to warm up, and can have difficulty accepting a Floppy.
Remote control - Female... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider, It gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
