 F-r-i-d-g-e C-r-a-p
I got home before she did today, and sent the following:
All is well now, after federal agents stormed our house, wearing
bio-hazard suits and gas masks, and carrying hoses attached to tanks of
Lysol on their backs, to decontaminate our fridge. Yes, agents of the
Federal Refrigerator Incident Decontamination and Garbage Eradication
agency, Connecticut Refrigerator Anti Pollution task force stormed
the house and found an astonishingly offensive plastic container that
once held two halves of a sandwich, what used to be noodles, and some
slices of erstwhile mushrooms, stubbornly determined to return to their
fungal state.
The offending material was double-bagged, and put in an outside garbage
can. Hoards of neighbors, carrying picket signs and chanting: "Throw it
out, throw it out, the fumes have ruined our bathroom grout!" picketed
as the Federal and State agents did their brave work. They've mostly
dispersed now. The neighbors, that is. The agents are gone.
The house is returning to normal, and the kitchen should be habitable
by the time you get home.
_________
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
