Dog/Cat Diaries TOO TRUE!!

This right here is friggin hillarious!! It speaks the truth to a T!! Just to be nice and official, I copied this from Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary

The Dog's Diary​

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary​

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

​

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

 

:laughings:bouncylau

wholey crap that was funny!! :clapping::clapping::clapping:

 

Aw, thats hilarious!

 

LOL to funny. I guess that's why I like dogs better. I knew cats were evil.

 

hey now, lets not get into a cat/dog debate. everybody knows cats are better anyways, dogs eat there own poop and just want to hump things....

 

Like my dog, it not only eats its own poop, it eats the cat's too! And it rapes the poor lil meow meow!

 

:yelrotflm:yelrotflm:yelrotflm:yelrotflm:yelrotflm

 

haha poor cat.

well now thats just disgusting! cat poop is full of "kitty litter" he really eats that????

 

Yeah, you know that little "scratch scratch" noise you hear when a kitty is covering up its "business"? Well, for us its followed by more "scratch scratch"-ings and then "CRUNCH CRUNCH!!!" Its so gross! Then he wants to kiss you!:

 

OMG....who came in and interviewed my animals!!!

That is too freaking hysterical and true! my dogs are so happy and carefree.

My cat and I have been having a stand off for the last week and he actually won! Somebody gave me this bag of food they got at the grocery store for cats and their cat did not like it. I have no idea what kind it was as she had it in a plastic container. I had it in my freezer and ran out of his normal food. So I poured that in his little automatic feeder last weekend and thought well he will eat it. His food dish is downstairs. He has been screaming at me everyday for the last week. He started off just meowing at me when I walked in the door. Then it was when I fed the dogs or was in the kitchen. It was not just your ordinary meow, it was your high pitch...I hate you...meow. Last night during the middle of the night he stood on my head and did the meow and clawed at my head. I still refused to do it...he had a full container of food...just cause it was not his "particular brand" did not mean he was too good to eat it. Well, he finally won when I was in the kitchen today and he was screaming at me and he was sitting at the dog food bowls eating the dog food. And was actually swallowing it...not just pretending to eat it.

I talked to my friend who gave me the food and she told me she had bought it for a stray that she was feeding and he would not eat it so she gave it to me....so that food must be made of crap, literally for a stray cat to not eat it!!! But anyway he has not lifted his head out of the bowl yet...and it has been much quiter tonight!!: