 A bloke walks into the local benifits office
A bloke walks into the local benifits office to pick up his cheque. He
marched straight up to the counter and said, "S'cuse me, I just HATE drawing benifits I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We
have just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.You'll be expected to
escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to
satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above
the garage.The salary is £200,000 a year."
The bloke, wide-eyed, said, "You're pulling my plonker!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well...you started it."
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
