 ALCOHOL WARNING
ALCOHOL WARNING
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell you friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your bum kicked.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! | 
